A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. Luckily it was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented “Hmmm...that’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a £20 note in it. Now there are four £5 notes.”
The boy quickly replied, “That’s right, the last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward
On Christmas Day, the priest had just begun his homily when there was a
power cut. Once candles had been lit and order was restored, the priest said
“Now, where was I?” and a voice from the back of the church said “Very near
the end Father!”.
One day an angel appeared to Adam and said, "I've got some great news for you. God is going to create something wonderful for you, He is going to make something called a woman for you."
Adam, very intrigued, said, "Tell me more."
The angel said, "This woman will be a lot like you physically, only much more beautiful. She will live to serve you at all times, cook your meals and look after you if you’re sick. And what's more," the angel continued, "she will never argue with you or complain. She won't nag you or talk back to you either.”
Adam had a sparkle in his eye and said with excitement, "Wow, that sounds amazing. I'd really like to have something like that. But what's it going to cost me?"
The angel said, "It's going to cost you your right arm, and a leg."
Adam thought about it for a while, and then asked, "What can I get for just a rib?"
Two Catholics have lived very good and also very healthy lives. They die and go to Heaven. As they are walking along, marvelling at the paradise around them, one turns to the other and says “Gosh, I never knew Heaven was going to be as good as this!”. “Yes” says the other “and just think, if we’d have eaten more burgers we could have got here 10 years sooner.”